Recently I had a conversation with a friend about why we can’t get mad at certain people; by certain people, I mean our friends, or even members of our family.
Upon pondering this phenomenom I concluded a few things.
We can swallow our pride for these people. Normally, when we are in a conflicting sitaution with someone we don’t know well, or rather someone we don’t mind showing who’s boss, we are very quick to try to assert our authority. It’s only natural. I can imagine that this is an evolutionary instinct; we feel the need to stand our ground for survival purposes. This is understandable, it’s a tough dog eat dog world out there and sometimes we need to put our foot down. But for those certain special people, we are willing to let it slip and quickly move on. It’s because we value that friendship, or relationship, too much.
It may be that the reason why we were mad at the person in the first place probably was not that strong of a reason. The more we ponder upon a situation, the more we realise how silly or minor it actually is.
Here’s a tip to try to rationalise whether an ‘issue’ as is actually worth the argument: either try or imagine explaining the situation to someone else. Do you sound a bit silly? Does the situation sound minor? If so then allow it. It’s obviously not worth it.
There’s something amazing about friends that’s also the reason why they are so annoying… we can’t get mad at them! This is also a true sign of friendship. So, next time you want to tell a friend off and end up not doing so, just curse them under your breath and laugh it off.. or better still they’ll end up making you smile when you try!
We are often put under the misconception that we have to find our best friends or life partners within the people we meet in typical life situations, such as school, work or uni.
This is just a reminder that there are over 7 billion people on the planet!
Within those 7 billion lurks your best friends, your soulmate and your family.
So don’t panic if you can’t find those special people within your local environment, they may be elsewhere.
We often forget that we’re stuck in our own bubbles, and that there are loads of other people out there. Try to imagine the bigger picture.
Bearing all of this in mind, that does not mean that you should hate or put no effort with the people within your life because you’re convinced that these are not your people. You should still try to make the most of the time you have with those people. Make the experience you have with those people a positive one. A little bit of effort can go a long way. My general moto in life is to enjoy it as much as possible in an attempt to reach fulfilment. For me that means making every experience I have as positive as possible, therefore I make an effort with everyone I encounter within different situations.
I have been lucky enough to find some of those special people in these “typical life situations”.
How do I know they’re special?
I connect with them in a way that makes their presence feel like home.
I feel comfortable around these people, I can fully be myself. My laughs around these people are genuine. Nothing is forced in my behaviour around these people. I can talk about the strange ideas and philosophical concepts that I ponder upon with these people. I feel confident and good about myself around these people.
I am GENUINELY happy around these people.
If you’ve found these people, then cherish them and maintain that bond with them regardless of your modern busy lifetyles. Friendships like these will last a lifetime.