Category Archives: Life Reflections

Appreciation for the older generations

This post is a reflection on the impact one patient had on my appreciation of my culture.

The patient was an elderly man. He resembled a grandad figure in my culture. When I was caring for him, I naturally began to speak our native language. The moment I spoke a word of my mother tongue, his eyes lit up. I could see his shocked face, albeit a positive shock. It was almost as if those native words perked him up.

He had been in hospital for a short while, and was fed up of being in a dependent state. In punjabi, he confided in me. He vented his frustrations and fears. I empathised with him, and provided the much needed reassurance he needed. He was nothing short of grateful once we had delivered the required care. As I was about to leave his cubicle, he stopped me and gave me blessings, calling me his daughter. Of course I did explain to him that there was no need to thank me as it was my duty. Regardless, he kept showering myself and my colleague with compliments and words of gratitude.

When I spoke to him in Punjabi, I restored a sense of comfort within him. Similar to  comfort of having a sense of being at home. We forget as children of imigrants the sacrifices the generations before us made for us to have a good life in a different country with a good education and unlimited opportunities. Our parents and grandparents left the comforts of being in a country where they could easily communicate with everyone to come to a new country where tasks as simple as going to the shops could be a challenge due to the unfamiliar language spoken by everyone else. Imagine how scary the situation he was in could be. Being in hospital is not a great situation as it is, but struggling to speak the same language as all of the staff  caring for you too? Now that makes the situation more uncomfortable for the patient. I was quite surprised to see how much comfort and ease I could bring to my patient just by speaking our mother tongue. I know that made his stay in hospital just that little bit more better.

This just shows the importance of staying in touch with your own culture. My ability to speak Punjabi is most definitely not the greatest, but I do make a conscious effort to try. It’s important for the youth of every culture to actively engage in their respective cultures and maintain their ability to speak their native language. We don’t want there to be a communication gap between the oldest and youngest generation; we want to avoid alienation between generations.

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Some waffle about not getting mad at friends and how to avoid futile outburts of getting mad at them

Recently I had a conversation with a friend about why we can’t get mad at certain people; by certain people, I mean our friends, or even members of our family.

Upon pondering this phenomenom I concluded a few things.

We can swallow our pride for these people. Normally, when we are in a conflicting sitaution with someone we don’t know well, or rather someone we don’t mind showing who’s boss, we are very quick to try to assert our authority. It’s only natural. I can imagine that this is an evolutionary instinct; we feel the need to stand our ground for survival purposes. This is understandable, it’s a tough dog eat dog world out there and sometimes we need to put our foot down. But for those certain special people, we are willing to let it slip and quickly move on. It’s because we value that friendship, or relationship, too much.

It may be that the reason why we were mad at the person in the first place probably was not that strong of a reason. The more we ponder upon a situation, the more we realise how silly or minor it actually is.

Here’s a tip to try to rationalise whether an ‘issue’ as is actually worth the argument: either try or imagine explaining the situation to someone else. Do you sound a bit silly? Does the situation sound minor? If so then allow it. It’s obviously not worth it.

There’s something amazing about friends that’s also the reason why they are so annoying… we can’t get mad at them! This is also a true sign of friendship. So, next time you want to tell a friend off and end up not doing so, just curse them under your breath and laugh it off.. or better still they’ll end up making you smile when you try!

Nimbo

I am grateful

Around 20 years ago I was in a situation which could have resulted in me leaving this world.

But that was not the outcome.

I am here.. living, breathing and existing.

I am so grateful for everything…

My parents

My family

My friends

My education

My freedom to pursue my passions and hobbies

I am grateful to know what happiness feels like.

I am truly blessed.

Thank you to everyone who has ever contributed to a blessing of mine, may it be in a happy or challenging experience. Even struggles are blessings in disguise.

Nimbo

Special people

We are often put under the misconception that we have to find our best friends or life partners within the people we meet in typical life situations, such as school, work or uni.

This is just a reminder that there are over 7 billion people on the planet!

Within those 7 billion lurks your best friends, your soulmate and your family.

So don’t panic if you can’t find those special people within your local environment, they may be elsewhere.

We often forget that we’re stuck in our own bubbles, and that there are loads of other people out there. Try to imagine the bigger picture.

Bearing all of this in mind, that does not mean that you should hate or put no effort with the people within your life because you’re convinced that these are not your people. You should still try to make the most of the time you have with those people. Make the experience you have with those people a positive one. A little bit of effort can go a long way. My general moto in life is to enjoy it as much as possible in an attempt to reach fulfilment. For me that means making every experience I have as positive as possible, therefore I make an effort with everyone I encounter within different situations.

I have been lucky enough to find some of those special people in these “typical life situations”.

How do I know they’re special?

I connect with them in a way that makes their presence feel like home.

I feel comfortable around these people, I can fully be myself. My laughs around these people are genuine. Nothing is forced in my behaviour around these people. I can talk about the strange ideas and philosophical concepts that I ponder upon with these people. I feel confident and good about myself around these people.

I am GENUINELY happy around these people.

If you’ve found these people, then cherish them and maintain that bond with them regardless of your modern busy lifetyles. Friendships like these will last a lifetime.

 

Embarrassment

This is a just a random epiphany I had the other day when thinking about an embarrassing situation. I ended up trying to fathom the logic behind what makes a situation embarrassing.
I’ve concluded that it’s quite simply one thing… Other people’s judgement.
When something embarrassing occurs, our initial reaction is “what will others think?” Or “omg everyone saw that they all think I’m an idiot”. And to that I say OH WELL. We live in a harsh world where things won’t always go our way, we just have to accept these situations, deal with them and MOVE ON.
The feeling of embarrassment is a man made emotion in the sense that it’s based on how society reacts to a situation.
This is my theory of the evolutionary benefits of embarrassment:
The negative judgment of the action by the cohort of people you want to maintain face with would mean that they may be apprehensive to allow you into their social group. Evolutionarily, we need a group of people to be part of to survive in terms of working as a functional group to carry out essential survival tasks.
However this evolutionary benefit is not as relevant to social circumstances anymore.
If we stopped judging, or avoided externally showing our judgment, then embarrassing situations would be no way near as traumatising. Also, it would be handy if we just MOVED ON from the situation and avoided holding it over the person’s head. This would in turn reduce negativity in the world, I’d hope. If the embarrassing situation was quite funny, then use it for amusement but not at the person’s expense. By this I mean use it to help them laugh it off… It could even be a conversation starter with that person and could break a barrier. You could end up easing into a friendship this way. I guess I’m being a bit optimistic now and I’m getting carried away with this post, woops.
The point I’m trying to make is don’t make someone feel uncomfortable about an embarrassing situation, just move on and be nice about it. We’ve all been there!
Nimbo
P.S: you might think this is a load of crap, but this is me putting my thoughts in a hopefully coherent form for when I need to dish it out as advice… Safeee

Team work makes the dream work

Cliché title, I know.

Recently I’ve been on a journey with a group of people… a team… a family.

The camaraderie I’ve developed with these people will not fizzle out.

There’s something about the bond you develop with the group of people who you embark on a long journey with. I’ve thought and reflected on why this is. We all started the experience effectively as people different to who we became by the end of the process. We’ve all developed our own skills and strengthened both our physical and mental robustness.

Psychology would say that we have conditioned ourselves to associate each other with this new mindset to keep pushing ourselves. Seeing eachother now will subconcsiously remind us of the challenges we overcame and personal development we undertook.

What we’ve learnt and exercised from this experience in terms of personal development will be of a great value.

So if you are about to embark on a journey with a team, be prepared to learn from others and reflect any good qualities put into practice. Thrive off of the good energy within the team and challenge that into achieving your final goal or product.

Nimbo

 

An epiphany

A few weeks ago I had a moment… an epiphany.

The weather was beautiful: deep blue skies, a couple of perfectly fluffy clouds dotted in the sky and sunshine but with the crisp cool winter air.

I was roaming the iconic streets of my city, following a productive morning (in terms of studying) and a hospital appointment that went well. In my hand I held a healthy snack from a restaurant I love. I was due to go to a dance rehearsal later that day, for a dance style that I loved.

I was all by myself, but I did not feel the slightest hint of loneliness or negativity. I felt blessed. Blessed to be able to afford to eat; blessed to be able to walk freely; blessed to be healthy and well. It’s the simple things which we take for granted everyday that I was appreciating the most.

Having this time to myself also allowed for some self reflection. I evaulated where I was in my life and what I was doing.

I realised that I actually had a lot to be thankful for and appreciative of.

I’m grateful to have such a loving and supportive family and group of friends.

I’m grateful to have the opportunity to study something I find interesting, and that will gear me towards my dream career.

I’m grateful for all the experiences I’ve had in my life, as each adventure has shaped me to be the person I am today.

The greatest epiphany was to realise that I’m happy. I’m happy with where I am and I’m happy about the path I’m on with my life, as it’s the path I’ve created for myself.

It’s moments like this which keep you humble and self assured.

So my advice is this: take some time out of your busy lives to reflect.

It can bring some calmness and comfort to your mind if it is a positive reflection. If it’s a negative reflection, then simply strive to improve yourself and take actions to make that self reflection more positive.

I hope you all reach a positive epiphany one day too…

Stay humble and reflective;

Nimbo

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Success Vs Failure

I crave success

Most people in my generation idolise success, as if it was a person. Success is often portrayed in social media purely as something materialistic. I beg to differ; success is what you make it out to be.

There are loads of different types of success: academic, fitness, sports, careers, popularity on social media and many more.

To me the type of success which is most important is the feeling of accomplishment or happiness after completing or achieving something.

Success is more than the money and fame; it’s what you gain out of the experience which shapes you to become a better person. The ultimate aim for many, including myself, is to be the best person that you can possibly be. Personally, this means being as kind, open minded, adventurous, insightful, wise and hard working as I can.

We all hope to achieve big goals and aims one day; we must stay driven to achieve them. When you finally do, you can celebrate that success to your hearts content. But til then, don’t forget to recognise your small successes. Finally finished revising that topic you hated… and you finally understood it? SUCCESS! Finally reduced your 1 mile run time after months of slow improvement? SUCCESS! Finally woke up early and had a full on productive day? SUCCESS!

Recognise these small milestones, they’ll keep you motivated and help you keep sight of the end goal. Without recognising these small achievements, your path will seem longer, harder and more draining.

And then there’s the other side: failure.

We will all inevitably experience failure. No matter how positive a person you are, there will be at least 1 occassion when failure will upset or annoy you, even if it’s just a tiny bit.

The best thing to do is to channel that negative energy into something productive.

There genuinely is no point in wallowing in one’s sorrows; it is a waste of time and energy. That time and energy can be much better used trying to improve oneself. Try to address why that failure occurred; evaluate yourself and the situation. Be active in the process of improvement and take whatever actions are needed. If the reasons for the failure were out of your control, which can often be particularly annoying, then look for a plan B to achieve the aim of plan A. Remember, the plan may change but the aim doesn’t neccessarily have to change too. Don’t give up… as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, keep persevering and stay resilient.

Stay determined, stay positive, stay productive;

Nimbo

 

 

The Bigger Picture 

Life is crazy. To think that we are living beings living in an environment moulded by us …. Rules that we made… The concepts and ideas that we force upon people were made by other random people
Earth is only a small fragment of the universe. We have NO idea of what could be out there in the very far and beyond.

Is there a parallel universe? Is there just plain space?

In this world, there’s space in the smallest units. Within atoms, the smallest unit of matter, there’s space between the electrons and protons etc

What does that “empty” space consist of?

I’ll have moments of zoning out, at which times questions like this will flood my mind.

Instead of getting dragged down by petty daily dramas, just stop and think of the bigger picture. The universe is so vast and UNKNOWN that we must be part of something greater.

The point I’m trying to make here is:

Expand your minds

When you put everything into perspective, the 1st world daily struggles we face seem minuscule;

Peace over conflict

Personally, I like the idea of being a peaceful person. I don’t like to be the cause of negativity or stress or any fights. I don’t like unnecessary conflict or confrontation.
Peacefulness is bliss; no stress and no worries. That’s why I try to be as peaceful of a person as possible.
The world is already a harsh place, and I don’t think that the world needs anymore anger or stress amongst its people. So if everyone tried to be peaceful, our lives would have much less stress due to people.
I think the key to to avoiding conflict is quite simply the act of understanding.
Try to understand why someone has done something wrong. What’s the underlying reason? Is the situation deeper than what’s on show on the surface? Try to get into the person’s mind, that’s where they’re most vulnerable. People try to hide internal conflicts in their mind, and use stupid actions as a cover up.
Be cautious when dealing with heated situations, and always maintain a high ground. The view from up there is much more eye opening.
So…I encourage you all to try to be peaceful. Adopt a clear positive mind in adverse situations, and see how clear your conscious feels after. Nothing beats the feeling of no regrets;